you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
