I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
