Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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