dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
