I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
