At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Holy sore nipples Batman
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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