cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
