so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
