Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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