You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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