Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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