i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
