Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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