was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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