Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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