Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
