why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Randomize
