I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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