Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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