It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
