That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize