what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
