WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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