I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
