Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
