SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
