Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
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