My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize