five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
