batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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