the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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