I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
