Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
