I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
