i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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