Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I am spending my child support on dildos
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
