Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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