took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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