I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
