Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
