Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
