you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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