sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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