not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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