I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
