You're completely useless in the revolution.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
