We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
