thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
