wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize