why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
