So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
