its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
