Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
