I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
