Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
