Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
