the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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