I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
