Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
