forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
