she looked like the before picture.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
