My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize