I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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