All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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