I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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