It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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