He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
