so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize