so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
