just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
