I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
