9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
