Whod you bang
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
