I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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