He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Alive.
So much puke
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
