Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
